Through succeeding elimination rounds, masters of the cliche, manglers
of syntax, virtuosos of plagiarism, and, above all, those who persist in misreporting Russia as a land advancing into the sun-kissed territory of "reform," were awarded by the judges for their superior awfulness with advancement to the final bouts.
You'll notice that these media manglers
of the language never invite you to become the owner of, or the master of, some cat or dog; they always insist on asking you to adopt the animal.
THOSE serial manglers
of the English language, Gordon McQueen and Charlie Nicholas, have been at it again.
And honestly, you couldn't make these up: Monty Python's Flying Circus in Japan The Gay Boys Dragon Club Blackadder in Spain TheBlack Snake Ready Steady Cook in Sweden Duelling Cooks Ready Steady Cook in Denmark Cook Running Amok EastEnders in Holland The Old North Wallace andGromit in HongKong The Super Invincible Prized Dog Keeping Up Appearances in Norway High on a Pear But the champion programme manglers
are our friends in Germany.