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The truth is closer to this: Player plays brilliantly and becomes famous; company wants a piece of player; player makes advert; player regresses towards the mean and plays less well; dullards link advert to poor form.
Think the collective noun for these dullards must be a Hurst of bores.
Because, as is painfully clear, they're all charisma-free karaoke class dullards.
Light-years ahead of his time, Bilko remains one of the funniest sit-com characters ever and is still taking viewers away from rival daytime dullards Phil and Fern, Five's baggy-eyed Matthew Wright and even The Hoobs.
After creating poor chemistry since its return to the NFL in '97 with dullards such as George Seifert, Jerry Glanville, Joe Montana, Mike Ditka and Marcus Allen, CBS senses a successful recipe with Deion Sanders, Boomer Esiason and Dan Marino as the round-table stars.
HOW wearisomely predictable it was to watch the assorted bores and dullards raising their noses above the privet hedges of suburbia to condemn the knighthood conferred upon Mick Jagger.
And that even the dullards of New Labour, who so comprehensively misjudged the last protest, will surely be prepared for the next.
But then when your husband and daughter are such dullards, who needs a motive?
Aren't there enough vacuous, egotistical dullards in this country?
Whatever the dullards and the mean-spirited who have damned him with faint praise might say, he will be badly missed.
IN the workplace, in politics, and in our schools, the same old rule often applies - dullards bolstering dullards to thwart the truly inspired.
But Lisa and Tate are both tedious dullards and quickly wear out their welcome, and too many of the movie's jokes are cheap shots and unfunny ones at that.
The partner of Prince Edward has duped the dullards of the national press into handing her publicity worth hundreds of thousands of pounds.
Kemal, the real man - the one prepared to be the biggest girl - showed the others up for the dullards they are by deciding to have a bath - in the bin.
And as if that isn't bad enough, what on earth are dullards Damage doing on this double album?